All set !!

Looks like our visit to the doc for a scan yesterday already got things going. "The baby's better off outside than inside at this stage" was the verdict judging from the progress of placental calcification. One last check around the house for baby-readyness and we're all packed. Yes it's a beautiful Sunday, and even the cot is all set up with Softy-pede and Magi-raffe anxiously awaiting their new mate.

Anytime now

Routine check, 3 weeks to actual due date.
It seems some "calcification" has started showing up in the placenta as seen in the scans. Doctor says, "Come back next week for another scan. If there's more, he'll have to come early... unless he already makes an early exit even before next Saturday's check. Here's the letter of admission just in case."

Oh! Panic! What to do? We'll have to start packing already! 

 

As big as it gets

3rd April 2010 (2nd month)

23rd July 2010 (5th month)

17th Oct 2010 (8th month)

We chose a backdrop that we thought would not change throughout our pregnancy but as it turns out, some furniture movement had already happened a week before the 3rd shot, so the corner stand and plants moved away from the wall corner slightly. To get a continuous comparison with the growing plant, we changed standing location by a few feet.

Baby delivery videos

 "Let's watch some videos of deliveries" she said as we were together on our bed, me applying oil on the stretched tummy skin. Just less than 2 months to go and only now we think of viewing deliveries together. I didn't think of it earlier either when I could have.

These days, it's as easy as reaching over to the iPhone, tapping on the YouTube icon and doing a search for "baby delivery". Not the biggest screen at home but at easy arms length, the iPhone screen is sufficient for streaming smooth and continuous videos over 3G.

Over a variety of videos, we watched the process of labour in final stages, baby's head popping out, turning, all the way to full delivery including placenta. Of course there were also those with episiotomies and a caesarean section. "Oooh the pain....." was a repeated mumble till we both fell asleep shortly after.

This one's the best, complete with soothing music, and the mother appears calm enough to pat her baby's head half way through too!

Yours and mine

What is it like for 2 classmates to get together and compare tummy bulges? Of course they had a lot more to chat about, show each other, and share, but being the first time they had gotten together in 6 months, it's time to compare the bulge!

Charlene is due early October, just over a month earlier than GF's mid November.

A much more forward positioned and sharper tummy compared to GF's rounder and wider shape

Early morning with confinement lady.

8.30am, Saturday morning. First meeting with our confinement lady from Ipoh. A friendly chat, light breakfast, and a long maternity shopping list together with a list of "do's and don'ts".

Langkawi !!!

Off we go... possibly the last fly-away holiday we'll be taking together for some time. We just got back from a trip to Langkawi this January with long lost colleagues of mine from Sweden and Malta. That was a blast. This time, a great value deal takes us back to our regular island... but for a quiet and peaceful escape in Burau Bay.

Fit to fly!

Testicles the size of his knee!
While Dr.Neoh was doing a good job of confirming manhood, we were more anxious to get our letter of fitness to "travel in a pressurized aircraft"

2 week episode of RASH!!

Like all itch related rash GF's been having in the past, a little of cool-burn ointment usually helps. Soothing, and distraction from more scratching, to allow it to recover on its own. However, with this one, the area and itch just seemed to keep growing!

31 Jul 2010:  Original itchy rash spots on ankle & behind knee

6 Aug 2010: Flaring up beyond original spots to whole ankle & area behind knee

9 Aug 2010: Dr.Zalmy (an ex classmate, now a dermatologist) recommends we stop our balms and ointments [left] which may be making it worse, and use medicated creams instead... and oh, there happens to be some at home in her cabinet [right]. By now, the rash has started to become more diffuse and less sharp.

11 Aug 2010: The knee seems almost recovered, and the ankle's original spot has returned to normal skin while the surrounding spread area is recovering.

16 Aug 2010: Just as recovery was almost complete, a little more flared up on the ankle and on the side of the knee... but they went away quite quickly with a bit of cream. Phew....

Pregnancy related rash?

Minor itch + scratching, and more scratching = red rash
Not just any ordinary rash, this one seemed to spread its itchiness the more it's scratched!
Only a little bit around the ankle and behind the knees for now. 

Let's fly away to a quiet island beach

Of all the things we're considering at this stage...

No longer overwhelmed by the sleepyness and tiredness of the first trimester, and with appetite and enthusiasm back, there's something we've got to do before we take a looooong break from it.... go off on a quiet holiday for two!

We found return Firefly flights to our favourite island for RM14 per person each way, and she found a great hotel deal on AA's website. With some checking, it seems the airline allows expectant mothers to fly without need for any medical letters up to 28 weeks, and thereafter with a letter from the doc. Good thing the special rates was right on the 27th week.

So it's the sound of the sea for the free passanger, and floating with the waves inside mummy! Now we just have to hope all's well between now and the trip.

Confinement lady, or no confinement lady?

Among all the things we've been working ahead of schedule for, something like this somehow got left behind. Options were kept open for a while, and just lingered.

After birth, do we spend the 1st month of rest in...
A. my mum's house where there will always be someone at home almost all the time, to attend to meals and baby?
B. her mum's house where there will also be someone at home almost all the time, to attend to meals and baby?
C. our place and get the traditional "confinement lady" in for one month of tending?

First, there was the more pressing need to decide if we'll deliver in PJ, or in Muar where her parents are.
Before we know it, we're at 5 months already, and realise we may be running out of options faster than we realise. Apparently getting a confinement lady is usually done within the first month of discovering a pregnancy as most reputable ones are usually all booked up fast.

Enough of contemplating - we'll go with the confinement lady option as both options A and B will likely put excessive strain on either our parents who may not be at their best to handle round-the-clock attention by then.

We were already late when we tried the two we were first recommended, but finally managed to get one who had to switch with another due to a slight mismatch of delivery timing of her previously booked client. Definitely a relief for now.

It's Mr. Tiger Chin!

....as opposed to Miss Tigress Chin, in the year of the Tiger.

No, we haven't chosen a name yet, and yes it's highly unlikely to be "Tiger". Seems quite active most of the time too. We've also been feeling his kicks and moves on our own, and sometimes it does feel like we're sending morse code messages both ways across the belly!

Second trimester

I was only away for 5 nights and suddenly the bulge has become so noticeable! Probably just a combination of a very full meal, some gas, and of course our growing newcomer. From 49kg a month ago to 50kg now, if it isn't extra body-fat, all that 1kg is probably just in one place.

At least we're past the perpetual sleepyness and tiredness of the first trimester now and appetite (of all sorts) has returned ;)

The ultrasound says it all

First trip on an airplane?

To go or not to go....

I don't think it feels any different while floating inside a well padded sac of liquid, but GF wasn't feeling too hopeful yesterday about her flight to Shanghai in the next few days. Traveling with a friend to visit a classmate now based in Shanghai seemed a great adventure half a year ago, especially with the World Expo on, and great low fare early discounts on flights.

With half a mind confident enough to be able to make it on an adventure like many other pregnant mothers who travel at every stage of pregnancy, GF maintained the booked ticket and hotel all the way. 3 weeks ago, after the discovery of our pregnancy, an unusual window opened too! A SMS came in with notification of a flight delay from morning flight to a night flight, which meant any unhappy customer can take the rare opportunity to call in and cancel their purchase with a full refund. She just moved it to the next day.

All through this time, still feeling unwell on and off, she seemed to be having some faith in feeling much better by the end of her first 3 months like what most people seemed to have experienced.

Today seemed alright, but yesterday wasn't very pleasant with occasional headaches and feeling of nausea which were both quite common in the past many weeks.

While home the last few evenings, I was faced with a cycle of considerations... questions asked of me but I know I'm not the one to answer.... "should I still go?".... "will I be well enough not to feel too tired half way through the day and hold the others back?"

I know she's been going through discouragement and advise on how she should be resting at home for the sake of our most precious. I know her decision not to just cancel everything from the start is a hidden confidence that many don't see of her, not even herself sometimes. Whatever it is, I stand by my interpretation of what I feel she wants. Her suitcase is being readied for packing.

I've flown a lot in my past, and I've seen many pregnant mothers fly. Although I've never been on a flight where a mother gives birth, there have been enough stories of these to instil confidence in the safety of flying pregnant. I know many of her "advisors" mean well, and would not want anything undesirable to happen, but if she's up for it. I am. At least she's giving herself the chance to be able to decide on the last day whether she gets out of bed for her flight or not. In the end, I'm still the driver and if she rolls in bed at 5am saying "I'm not going", I'll just fall back to sleep too.

Damansara Specialist Hospital

After 2 scans at her GP and considering that the GP doesn't do deliveries, we decided to check out the facilities and services at our nearby specialist hospital. No drastically bad reviews so far, and a friend recommended a Dr.Neoh.

Standard specialist centre. We've been here before for our earlier firtility tests and to visit friends who were patients. However, the Dr.Neoh experience started off very strange. Imagine a thin haired bow-tied man in his 50's with thick glasses with "mad professor" movements. Ok I'm exaggerating, but am not too far off. After an initial chat, it was time for the highlight of our visit..... my 2nd scan (GF's 3rd by now)

"Normal, healthy, so far so good. No movement because your baby is sleeping"
Here came a scary part...
"Let's wake your baby up", and he proceeds to jab the ultrasound into GF's tummy a few times to shake the baby up! "...still sleeping..." shakes some more.

At this point, GF and I were looking at each other more than at the screen. Has this bow-tied comedian gynae gone a bit off somewhere already? Well I was telling myself what he's doing logically possible as the mother does shake quite a bit when walking too. "Ah see, your baby's awake", he says, and we see the little hands and feet wriggling on the screen. Too bad I only got a photo. Next time, I'll make sure I get a video too.

Length 37.2mm, revised estimated due date: 14 November 2010

Oh no! Thick books....

I've always had an aversion to books, especially thick books with mostly text. GF picked the Dr.Sears "The Pregnancy Book" at Popular Bookstore after browsing through a few, and Karen my sister in-law passed us "What to Expect" which she used herself 3 years ago.

Since I can't read Chinese text, we don't fight over who reads which book at nights.
The "Guide to a healthy pregnancy" is an EnfaMama info-guide, laden with subtle hints that the nutrients you need through each period can be found in their various products. Good info, but we'll pass on the EnfaMama

Anmum vs EnfaMama

The EnfaMama sales aunty was really persistent and had endless benefits to tell of. All we wanted was to get a box of Anmum from the shelf after some personal recommendations GF got from friends. Anyway, we got what we were looking for, and since sales aunty passed us free EnfaMama samples, we took them too.

After trying some when we got home, we decided to stick to Anmum. They're all almost the same anyway when it comes to nutritional and content value. The only difference is that Anmum tastes like regular power milk while EnfaMama only comes in chocolate or vanilla flavouring and catered more to mums who have never liked the taste of milk to start with. Since GF was already fine with milk, the choc and valilla flavoured ones were definitely out. Anyone wants our two more sample packs of EnfaMama A+?

Tiger baby's very first picture!

Not exactly a camera photograph, but a thermal printout of an ultrasound scan. I regretted missing the first scan 2 weeks earlier, so I made sure I was around for this second one. A short wait on the sofa and we were in for a short follow up chat before getting on the bed next to the ultrasound.

Good enough for the album. If I didn't already know better myself, you could tell me this was a "weather radar display, showing storms up ahead", I'd believe it. Come to think of it, this interpretation may also be valid!

With some imagination, we can see the thick uterus walls holding a balloon sac of liquid with "something" inside measuring around 16.8mm, consistent with a 7 week pregnancy, and an estimated due date of 23 Nov 2010.

Roti Babi!

Sharing the news with Sarah over a roti-babi caesarian. Yut Kee in Jalan Dang Wangi (previously known as Campbell Road). Roti babi's unique and delicious, but usually runs out by about 2pm. Shop closes 4pm and has variety of other mixed fare like pork & chicken chops, tai-chow style noodles, kopitiam breakfasts etc.

After 2 weeks of feeling weak and having no apetite, this was a welcome food adventure outing together for both of us.

No grave visits for pregnant mothers

Cheng Beng – a day the family gets together at the graves of ancestors. I am unsure of how much the true origins come from the spiritual aspect of ancestral afterlife connection, or the social aspect of a family get-together at a site of common ancestral respect. Whatever it is, dead or alive, granny in the grave is still keeping us together with such an annual occasion.

Over the centuries, long family hikes to mountainside gravestones has evolved to air-conditioned drives on highways to manicured memorial parks laid out like an urban metropolis. Even the traditional burning of paper folded “gold” ingots and “hell bank notes” to transmit “wealth” to the afterworld is now supplemented with paper mobile phones, LCD TVs with blu-ray DVD players, and we even saw a convincing gucci bag!

GF didn't join us this year. There is a belief that grave visits by pregnant mothers may undesirably invite some “residents” of these neighbourhoods to “follow us home”. Although this advice was from her mum, mine concurred too and played along. The rest at the grave still didn't know and a "she's tired and is still sleeping at home" was sufficient. For now, the general tiredness of early pregnancy is also a real enough reason for GF to skip and stay home to sleep on too. Anyway, she didn't miss much. Just the usual annual morning family picnic by the campfire on the hillside.

The slow and gradual discovery

When GF's usually regular and predictable period didn't come on schedule, we both thought it was just due to the stress she was going through at that time. She was handling her booth at a furniture expo in China just after our busy Chinese New Year festivities. She also ignored her slight chest discomfort and lack of appetite too.

Upon her return, something told me these were symptoms of pregnancy. We weren't too serious about it given our history on such things, so getting the cheapest pregnancy test kit from the pharmacy only happened the next day.

23 March 2010: Two lines! For me, it was a definitive conclusion, but GF was still unsure and felt it could be an inaccurate reading from the cheap test kit, or an imbalance of hormones due to the preceding few hectic weeks. She decided a visit to her GP for a scan was in order the next day.
"Your sac is 29mm in diameter and a fetus is developing just fine." was what she told me her GP said. We were on a Live Messenger chat, and I realised that both of us weren't really surprised, with everything we had come to know in the last few days. We were quite unemotional about it.

GF was tired, as she had been since returning from her China trip, and this evening, hubby will be coming home early too, in happiness and relief, to share the special discovery together.

Tiger Baby, conceived mid Feb 2010, due mid Nov 2010

A challenging start

Ever since engaging in unprotected sex years ago, there had been occasional worries of a pregnancy surprising us too suddenly, although none did.
Eventually it did feel unusual that all the care-free occasions never resulted in accidents, and even timed ones bore no results either.

There was a sadness in the realisation that there may be something not right, that we may need to do some checks. It's difficult being ready for something you never thought you'd need to hear, but it had to be done.

GF's local general practitioner made an appointment for us at a nearby hospital for an ovarian and uterine diagnostic and a semenalysis. It was a somewhat depressing wait for the procedures, and results could not be immediately known.
"Your eggs are too small, and your husband has very low sperm count with weak sperm" was all we could remember from her GP's interpretation on our next appointment.

For the next two years, we tried one thing after another following the advice of family, friends and experts, and realised what may work for most did not work for us.

First thing we started on was a regime of pharmaceuticals including Chlomie for her eggs and Tribestan to increase sperm count, as well as a precisely timed roster. We had to take a break and let this go after its third month, with option to resume a few months later.

GF's mum also took us to a traditional medicine practitioner, the type whose three fingers on your wrist could tell your entire condition. Balls! Hundreds of them! Black chewy herbal medicinal balls 1cm in diameter was prescribed for me, and smaller ones for her. Smaller because she had to down about 6-9 at one go after meals. Another six months went by with no results.

Although GF dreaded it, physical intervention was the next option. The difference between the investment needed for an IUI (intra uterine insemenation) and an IVF (in vitro firtilisation) was big enough for our first attempt to be an IUI. Apparently the difference in success statistics isn't that big. We had to alter our lifestyles a bit to provide as best an environment as possible for maximum sperm-count and ovulation results. Although friends have mentioned being successful after several IUI attempts, the physical and emotional challenge put us on a break after our first attempt.

Almost another year followed with other plans including homeopathic supplements introduced by a friend with recent pregnancy success, but with no results for us. It was time again to decide to go for our second IUI at an internationally renown fertility centre whose newest facility happened to be close by. Tests, consultations, medications, stimulations, IUI, and even considerations for an eventual IVF, all just seemed to go on with no end. Statistics were just that. One could still very well be on either side of the statistics no matter what we did.

It was time for another break, a breather to weigh the available options more seriously. IVF? Adoption? Try all the above again to beat the statistics? We decided to let it go for a while, especially since both of us would be packed with our own work-travel schedules over the next few months and the stresses related to it.

That was when it happened! When we had almost given up, when we had stopped everything we were trying, and right in the middle of the hectic Chinese New Year season, one of our nights of intimate adventure sparked its miracle, only to be discovered 5 weeks later.