Somehow, it doesn't feel like how everyone makes it out to be.

I'm not jumping for joy...
I'm not taken unaware with a shock...
I'm not itching to go let everyone know...
I'm not worried and afraid of the unknowns ahead...

...if anything, I'm relieved and just somewhat satisfied... for now.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

First trip on an airplane?

To go or not to go....

I don't think it feels any different while floating inside a well padded sac of liquid, but GF wasn't feeling too hopeful yesterday about her flight to Shanghai in the next few days. Traveling with a friend to visit a classmate now based in Shanghai seemed a great adventure half a year ago, especially with the World Expo on, and great low fare early discounts on flights.

With half a mind confident enough to be able to make it on an adventure like many other pregnant mothers who travel at every stage of pregnancy, GF maintained the booked ticket and hotel all the way. 3 weeks ago, after the discovery of our pregnancy, an unusual window opened too! A SMS came in with notification of a flight delay from morning flight to a night flight, which meant any unhappy customer can take the rare opportunity to call in and cancel their purchase with a full refund. She just moved it to the next day.

All through this time, still feeling unwell on and off, she seemed to be having some faith in feeling much better by the end of her first 3 months like what most people seemed to have experienced.

Today seemed alright, but yesterday wasn't very pleasant with occasional headaches and feeling of nausea which were both quite common in the past many weeks.

While home the last few evenings, I was faced with a cycle of considerations... questions asked of me but I know I'm not the one to answer.... "should I still go?".... "will I be well enough not to feel too tired half way through the day and hold the others back?"

I know she's been going through discouragement and advise on how she should be resting at home for the sake of our most precious. I know her decision not to just cancel everything from the start is a hidden confidence that many don't see of her, not even herself sometimes. Whatever it is, I stand by my interpretation of what I feel she wants. Her suitcase is being readied for packing.

I've flown a lot in my past, and I've seen many pregnant mothers fly. Although I've never been on a flight where a mother gives birth, there have been enough stories of these to instil confidence in the safety of flying pregnant. I know many of her "advisors" mean well, and would not want anything undesirable to happen, but if she's up for it. I am. At least she's giving herself the chance to be able to decide on the last day whether she gets out of bed for her flight or not. In the end, I'm still the driver and if she rolls in bed at 5am saying "I'm not going", I'll just fall back to sleep too.